


More Than He Loves Himself

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2 [24]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, It’s Pain, Kidnapping, M/M, Sad, Warning: Kate Argent, seriously, to me at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 12:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20275744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: When Stiles gets kidnapped Derek is determined to protect him. Unfortunately, it might not be enough for either of them.





	More Than He Loves Himself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LovelyLittleGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleGrim/gifts).

> This is for Amanda who prompted bad things for the “Can only move the eyes” slot for Bad Things Happen Bingo. And I made it worse.

Derek isn't thinking of any possible threats to himself when he storms into the rundown building. All he cares about is rescuing Stiles.

He'd received a text from an unknown number with a picture of Stiles tied up and unconscious. After that any sense left Derek. 

He knows Stiles will probably yell at him later about running into danger without backup. But Derek doesn't care. As long as Stiles is safe nothing else matters. 

The building is quiet when Derek walks in. All Derek can hear is the sound of Stiles' heart beat. He follows it until he reaches a big open room. Stiles is there, seemingly alone. He's standing with his back to a metal pole, his hands tied behind his back and mouth taped shut.

He starts struggling when he sees Derek, yelling out something Derek can't make out through the tape. 

Derek hurries towards him, his claws out and prepared to untie Stiles. 

"It's okay," Derek tells him. "I'm going to get you out of here."

Stiles shakes his head and struggles against the ropes. Derek sighs. "Look, just hold still so I can cut through these without hurting you."

He surprisingly does as Derek asks, and Derek makes quick work of slicing through the ropes. Stiles quickly takes the tape off before Derek pulls him into his arms. 

"I was so worried," Derek mumbles. He buries his face in Stiles' neck and breathes in deeply. He catches a whiff of another scent and tenses.

"Der there's something you need to know about who took me," Stiles says.

Derek doesn't need to hear the name. He knows. "We need to go."

He hears movement behind him at the same time Stiles sucks in a breath. He pushes Stiles away. "Whatever happens just get out of here."

"Derek…"

"Go!"

He barely has a chance to turn around before something is crashing into him and knocking him to the ground. He goes to stand up when something pierces into the skin of his back and suddenly he can't move. 

He hears the sound of heels clacking against the ground, and the sound of Stiles cursing. Feet stop in front of him and Derek lifts his eyes, the only thing he can still move. 

She's there, smirking down at him. Derek knows he's never hated anyone as much as he hates her. 

_ Kate _.

Kate laughs as she runs her hand across Stiles' cheek. He glares at her and struggles against her hold. His eyes move to Derek who is lying unmoving on the concrete floor. 

"My pet kanima did a good job with him, didn't she?" Kate asks, following Stiles' gaze to Derek. 

"You leave him alone," Stiles mutters. 

Kate laughs again, "Oh Stiles. You really don't get it yet, do you? Derek's not the one in danger. You are."

If Stiles is afraid he doesn't show it. His gaze remains steady, never leaving Derek. Derek would be struggling if it wasn't for the kanima venom running through his system. He tries to will his body to move. He needs to get to Stiles.

He sees the flash of a blade and feels himself start to panic as it's brought to Stiles' throat. Kate stands behind him, smirking. 

"Do you know how much it's going to kill him to see you die? To see the blood pooling around your body as the life leaves you, knowing he can't do anything to stop it? Killing him would be too easy. This is much more fun."

"I don't see why," Stiles says, sounding calmer than Derek feels. "Derek doesn't care about me."

Derek knows what he's doing but the words still sting. Stiles has to know how much he means to him. Derek wonders if he showed him enough. Maybe he should have told him. Should have kissed him more. 

"We both know that's not true," Kate says. "He loves you. More than he loves himself. Killing you will break him."

Stiles takes a deep breath, the movement bringing the blade that much closer to his skin. 

"Stiles," Derek whispers. The word comes out low and hoarse but he knows Stiles hears him. "Stiles."

Stiles meets his eyes. There is no fear there. There's anger and sadness and that fierce determination Derek is used to seeing. And on top of all that _ love _, but no fear. 

"It's okay," Stiles tells him. "Derek, it's okay. Just…" 

Stiles stops, looking at him seriously. Derek knows there's so much he wants to say, that both of them want to say, but neither one wants to give Kate that satisfaction. 

Derek continues to struggle against the hold of the kanima venom. He tries the trick of driving his claws into his palm but nothing helps. His body still works against him.

Kate laughs and Derek has to fight back a growl. "Oh this really would be sweet if it wasn't so pathetic."

"We're not the pathetic ones," Stiles mutters. "You are. You're the one that's still obsessed with Derek after all these years."

Kate presses the knife harder against Stiles' skin and Derek can see the blood starting a slow trail down his throat. Stiles still doesn't flinch. 

"I think you're forgetting I'm the one with the knife to your throat Stiles," Kate says.

Stiles snorts, "Hardly. If the knife doesn't kill me then the smell of your breath surely will."

Usually Derek is proud of Stiles' ability to be snarky in any situation, but right now all it does is make him more terrified. He knows Kate is close to snapping. All she has to do is press the knife down a little harder and Stiles' blood will be coating the floor. 

"Stiles," Derek warns.

"Oh he's worried," Kate says, her voice taking on a sweet turn that makes his skin crawl. 

He hates that there was ever a time that he fell for that. That he ever believed her. He knows better now. He's seen the monster that she truly is, and it's what has fear gripping his heart. 

"Please," he begs. He can add this to the long list of things to hate himself for later. If he makes it out. "Kate. You have me. Just let him go."

"I already told you what I wanted," Kate says, sounding amused. "You are going to hurt, Derek. Your heart is going to break and I'm going to get the joy of knowing that I'm the one that caused it once again."

"You're a sick bitch," Stiles hisses. "You know you won't get away with this."

"Oh by the time anyone gets here I'll be long gone and Derek will be left crying over your dead body. Maybe they'll even suspect him. Now that would be fun."

Stiles grits his teeth, "No one would ever suspect Derek of killing me."

"We'll see," Kate says. "Or well, I guess you won't. Because you'll be dead."

Derek can feel a tingling in his legs. His first real source of hope since he got caught. If he can just keep Kate distracted long enough for him to be able to move maybe he can get them both out of this. Or at least give Stiles a chance to get away. 

"What made you this way?" Derek asks her. "What made you filled with so much hate? It can't have all been Gerard."

Kate rolls her eyes, "There wasn't some big event that made me this way. I don't have some sob story where someone hurt me and you can convince me to do better. But you already know that." She sneers down at him. "You know me, Derek. But I know you. Enough to know that you're just trying to distract me. Well I hate to tell you, but you're time is up."

The panic is gripping at Derek's chest, making it hard to breathe. He drives his claws harder into his palm, trying to call on his pain to trigger his healing so he can move. 

He yells in frustration as he tries to force his body to move. Kate just laughs. "He's trying so hard to save you. It's too bad for you he's going to fail."

"Stiles." Derek says his name through clenched teeth, and meets his eyes. They're wet with unshed tears, and for the first time Derek sees a hint of fear. 

He hates himself for thinking that this could really be it. He still can't move and no one even knows to look for them. They're truly alone.

"Stiles I…"

"It's okay," Stiles tells him. "I love you, too. Tell my Dad…"

The words cut off on a gargle as the knife pierces deeply into Stiles' throat and slices. Derek yells, watching helplessly as Kate throws Stiles' body to the floor. Blood is pooling around him. The brown eyes that Derek has always loved are fixed on him. 

Stiles doesn't move. He lies as still as Derek has been since he arrived and got attacked by the kanima. 

Kate is somewhere laughing but Derek can't make himself look away. He couldn't if he wanted to. He feels tears streaming down his cheeks as he continues to try to move. He needs to check. He needs to be sure. If he can still save him…

Derek howls, fighting against the venom still in his veins as he struggles to move. He draws on the pain, both physical and emotional and uses it to help him. He manages to drag himself along the ground and to Stiles' side. He's not moving. Even before Derek brings his hand to his throat he knows he won't find anything. It's been too long since he's heard his heart beating.

The lack of pulse still feels like a knife to the heart. His arms give out and he doesn't fight it. He rests his nose against Stiles' throat and sobs. 

"Stiles. Please."

Kate laughs nearby but Derek still doesn't move. He doesn't care what she does to him. Not anymore. Stiles is gone. Nothing else matters. Especially not his life. 

"How does it feel?" Kate asks. "To know that yet another person you love is dead because of you?"

Derek doesn't say anything. He moves closer to Stiles, trying to block her out. 

Just last night they'd lain in a similar position. Stiles had been panting into the sheets while Derek whispered his name against his sweat soaked skin. His skin had been flushed with life, his heart beating loudly, pulse thrumming against Derek's lips. 

So different than he is now. Cold, pale, still and lifeless. Everything he shouldn't be. 

Derek's head is yanked back by the hair and he growls. He turns his blue eyes towards Kate. She's wearing the same smirk she's had on all night. 

"One day you're going to die seeing my face, knowing that I've taken everything from you."

"No," Derek says. "I won't. Because you're going to die here Kate."

Kate's laugh turns into a gasp of surprise when Derek's claws drive into her back. She struggles against him but he holds her firm. He can't even be pleased when he sees her eyes dim and her body goes still. 

He throws her aside and turns back to Stiles. He's regained full function of his body, not that it matters much now. All it means is that he's able to lift Stiles into his arms and carry him out of here. He doesn't go to his car. He just walks. He walks until he reaches the Sheriff's station and then he collapses on his knees outside. 

He holds Stiles close to him, afraid that if he lets him go he’ll disappear.

He hears footsteps nearby but doesn’t look up. His eyes stay focused on Stiles’ too pale face. On the moles scattered across his skin that he’s always loved. How was it just last night he was kissing each of them and making Stiles laugh?

“Derek?” He immediately recognizes Parrish’s voice. “What…?”

“Get John,” Derek says. His own voice sounds far away. Lifeless even. Which is fitting. His life ended the moment Stiles’ did.

Derek is left in silence for a moment before the sound of loud footsteps reach him. He hears a pained cry before knees hit the pavement next to him. 

"My boy," the Sheriff whispers. "Stiles. What happened?"

Derek lifts his head, feeling a swirl of grief and anger as he watches John brush Stiles' hair back as tears stream down his face. 

"Kate," Derek says. "Kate had him. I tried to save him. But she had a kanima and I…" he ducks his head, his own tears spilling down his cheeks. 

"What happened to her?" John asks. 

"She's dead," Derek tells him. "I killed her."

"Good. Now give me my son."

Derek wants to argue. He wants to keep Stiles held in his arms. But he knows that's not fair. It still hurts like hell to allow John to take Stiles from him. His arms feel empty, and he realizes that may have been the last time he held Stiles in them. 

"Go home Derek," John says, his tone hard. 

"But…"

"Go! You've done enough tonight. Now leave me with my son." When Derek doesn't move, John looks up at him, with anger in his eyes. "If you don't go, I'll lock you up and you won't be at his funeral."

Derek stumbles to his feet, backing away from the man. He knows it's not an empty threat. 

He doesn't go home though. He can't. Not yet. Not knowing that when he walks through the doors Stiles won't be there. He'll never be there again. He'll never hear his laughter in the halls or see him cooking in their kitchen or laying in their bed with the sheets pooled around his hips. 

Now all he's going to have is an empty house full of memories. 

It's too much for him. So he wanders the streets late into the night. Until his feet bring him outside the Stilinski house. Stiles hasn't lived here in years. But it's still part of him. 

Derek crawls up to his window like he did so many times before. It's still unlocked. He slips inside, staring around the dark room. 

It still smells like Stiles, but barely. Nowhere near as strong as when Stiles was still living here. The last time Stiles slept here was months ago after they'd had a fight. And even then Derek had shown up soon after with an apology and had slept here with him. 

Derek runs his hand along the sheets, remembering how they'd held each other that night, whispering apologies against the others skin.

"I'm so sorry, Stiles."

"You should be," John spits out from the door, startling Derek. 

He's drunk, Derek realizes, and has a gun in his hand. Derek knows it's loaded, most likely with wolfsbane laced bullets. 

"John…"

"He loved you," John continues, ignoring Derek. "He trusted you to protect him. Look where that got him. He's dead and it's your fault!"

"You're right," Derek says. "I failed him. I know that. But I really think…" 

He takes a step forward, only to still when John raises the gun and points it right at him. "Come any closer and I'll shoot you. I can't kill Kate but I can get the next closest person responsible."

Derek knows he should he afraid. John obviously isn't thinking clearly in his drunken state. But he's not afraid for himself. All he can think of is his grip slipping and him shooting himself, and Derek having to watch as two Stilinski men bleed out in front of him in the same night. 

He can't let that happen. Stiles wouldn't want his dad to be like this. 

It's with that thought that Derek inches forward, his hands raised. "John, why don't you just put that gun down?"

"I'm warning you," John says, raising his voice. "Stay back! I won't let you hurt me."

Derek frowns, slowly stepping closer. "I'm not going to…"

The gun fires a series of three fast shots. Derek stumbles back, his eyes widening. He doesn't feel the pain. Not at first. He'd think John had missed if his hands didn't come away coated with fresh blood when he puts them to his chest. 

His knees buckle beneath him as he looks down at himself. Blood is quickly seeping through his shirt. He thinks one of the bullets punctured a lung from the way it's becoming hard for him to breathe. 

Maybe if he just lays down…

He slumps over onto the floor, his eyes landing on the pictures on Stiles' desk. There's one of the two of them, taken years ago on their first date. They're both smiling at the camera, and Stiles has his head resting on Derek's shoulder. 

Derek feels tears stinging at his eyes, threatening to cloud his vision but he can't wipe them away. 

He knows he should get the bullets out to help himself heal but doesn't. Not when he can't see the point. He's alone now. Everyone he loves has left him. And those that are left would be better off without him here. 

A hand touches his cheek and Derek looks over, meeting a familiar pair of brown eyes that he would know anywhere. 

"My Dad's calling for help," Stiles tells him.

"I don't want it," Derek whispers. "I want you."

"I'm here," Stiles says. "I'm right here, Der."

"I love you," Derek mumbles. "Love you."

“I love you too. Always.”

Derek's head is fuzzy now. His vision blackening at the edges. Some part of him knows he's dying. But Stiles is here, looking down at him with a smile. He holds out his hand and Derek knows it's an offer. To stay or go. As if there ever was a choice.

Derek takes Stiles' hand. 

**Author's Note:**

> It took me months to figure out how to end this, and wound up going against my rule to not kill Derek again. But my muse wanted things.  
Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day♥  
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